Alabama Lawmakers Controlling Women Wonder What Good Their Newfound Power Is

“So we’ve maniacally regained our control over women right?” one lawmaker said with a boyish grin despite her girlish figure. “It’s great to have state just come down hard on these innocent women shedding innocent blood.”

---

Opinion: If it’s legal for you to hire an ax murderer to clear out your tenants, it should be legal for a woman to have an abortion

Unborn baby soon to be aborted quietly opposes mother’s career decision

“I don’t understand why she would think this is the next best step,” the fetus said. “Wouldn’t a better subtitle for your memoir be ‘Mother, Actress, and Women’s Role Model,’ not ‘I Got Out of Motherhood and You Can Too’?”

The baby said he didn’t want to raise a fuss about it, since his mother needs all the encouragement she can get.

It was either be poor or take a shot at stardom, and apparently it’s a shot at stardom.

“I think it would just be best for him,” she said. “There’s the risk of poverty. I don’t think I’d be a good mother. He could catch the flu, fall down and scrape his knee, get divorced, be crippled in a car accident, catch a rare, life-threatening disease, stub his toe…” she continued to ramble for an hour. “You can’t convince me this isn’t best.”

 

Star Wars Writer Reveals Snoke’s Appearance Results from Smoking

The real moral of the story was not to resist the Dark Side, but that viewers should “Just Say No” to drugs, writers say.

“It’s great that we’re seeing Congress take up the severe political issue we’ve dealt with so discreetly in the narrative of Star Wars,” Rian Johnson said. “Kylo killing Snoke actually represents young people rejecting drugs.”

Kylo Ren’s role model is Vader, who was not a smoker. But had smoked before when he was younger.

“Just think had Leia smoked, how would her lungs have held out when she went whizzing out into space?”

Unlike Palpatine who got fried by force lightning, or Vader who got charred on Mustaphar, Snoke was just a smoker. That’s how he got his rich voice. The entire film series is intended to be a long scare-commercial.